Half a Year Away
It's hard to believe how much time has really passed since I posted my last blog. I feel as though I should explain myself, give an account of where I've been and what I've been up to. At the same time, I find myself frustrated again by the medium and culture of blogging. It's just way too easy to shoot one's mouth off, to be offensive and stupid and not care who you may be hurting. It's too easy to be filled with self-importance and arrogance when you're sending your words out to the world, standing on your very own personalized soapbox. I guess I had started to get a little sick of it all, which started me thinking about this break. As always, though, there was more to it.
Our new home has not internet. This was a calculated decision, made almost entirely by the fact that we had a perfectly good cell phone - and, as such, no reason to get a land line. What get an internet connection without a phone line? Seems silly, really. So that was part of the decision.
My work schedule changed, taking up more of my free time. As the fall dragged on I became increasingly distant from the people in my life, sometimes spending more time at work than at home in a week. I worked evenings and weekends, and not because I had more work than usualy. It was because I was pushing myself, trying hard to make up for some percieved failures I had made, and trying not to give myself much time to introspect.
In addition to work becoming busier, I also started work on my Master's Degree - part time only, but combined with a work schedule more hectic than I'd ever had before it made for a semester of all work and no play. I didn't see my wife for days at a time, and I was wondering if either my job or my schooling would have to go.
We stopped going to church, my wife and I - stopped going to a church that I'd been a member at for almost 10 years. Proximity was the biggest factor; driving almost an hour to church makes sunday feel more like work for me, especially when the church population is growing increasingly unfamiliar. We've been church hunting ever since, with limited success.
In the midst of all of this, we needed to get away. We needed to get away from work, home, all of it, and an opportunity arose.
Scotland.
For two weeks we backpacked around scotland in the middle of December. A cold and wet country at the best of times, Scotland was experiencing flooding on a scale they hadn't see in over 50 years. It was frigid, and even the trains were freezing. It was the most beautiful place I've ever been. I'll tell you more about it later.
When I came back, things started to change. I refused to get drawn back into 60-hour weeks, instead relying on my support systems to get back on track. My wife and I picked a church to try, and we're committing to it for a few months to see how we fit in. I backed off in my schooling, and set aside more time for prayer.
Then one day I logged on to the net, and started to read.
I had been out of touch - no way I could catch up on all of the posts I missed. I had completely missed the Ted Haggard storm that swept the Christian blogs, and I felt no sadness at that. Much had happened, but I felt like I may be ready to come back. I don't know what that will look like, but I hope to contribute on a weekly basis some of my thoughts. Even if most of my friends and readers have moved on, it will be good to air my laundry again, good to say what is on my heart. Perhaps it will go unread, but then again, who do we write for?
There is one piece of unfinished buisness for me, and then I shall begin to tell you of the last six months. Expect an update mid-week, if you care to return. And to those who waited, thanks. It's good to be back. Continue reading...
Our new home has not internet. This was a calculated decision, made almost entirely by the fact that we had a perfectly good cell phone - and, as such, no reason to get a land line. What get an internet connection without a phone line? Seems silly, really. So that was part of the decision.
My work schedule changed, taking up more of my free time. As the fall dragged on I became increasingly distant from the people in my life, sometimes spending more time at work than at home in a week. I worked evenings and weekends, and not because I had more work than usualy. It was because I was pushing myself, trying hard to make up for some percieved failures I had made, and trying not to give myself much time to introspect.
In addition to work becoming busier, I also started work on my Master's Degree - part time only, but combined with a work schedule more hectic than I'd ever had before it made for a semester of all work and no play. I didn't see my wife for days at a time, and I was wondering if either my job or my schooling would have to go.
We stopped going to church, my wife and I - stopped going to a church that I'd been a member at for almost 10 years. Proximity was the biggest factor; driving almost an hour to church makes sunday feel more like work for me, especially when the church population is growing increasingly unfamiliar. We've been church hunting ever since, with limited success.
In the midst of all of this, we needed to get away. We needed to get away from work, home, all of it, and an opportunity arose.
Scotland.
For two weeks we backpacked around scotland in the middle of December. A cold and wet country at the best of times, Scotland was experiencing flooding on a scale they hadn't see in over 50 years. It was frigid, and even the trains were freezing. It was the most beautiful place I've ever been. I'll tell you more about it later.
When I came back, things started to change. I refused to get drawn back into 60-hour weeks, instead relying on my support systems to get back on track. My wife and I picked a church to try, and we're committing to it for a few months to see how we fit in. I backed off in my schooling, and set aside more time for prayer.
Then one day I logged on to the net, and started to read.
I had been out of touch - no way I could catch up on all of the posts I missed. I had completely missed the Ted Haggard storm that swept the Christian blogs, and I felt no sadness at that. Much had happened, but I felt like I may be ready to come back. I don't know what that will look like, but I hope to contribute on a weekly basis some of my thoughts. Even if most of my friends and readers have moved on, it will be good to air my laundry again, good to say what is on my heart. Perhaps it will go unread, but then again, who do we write for?
There is one piece of unfinished buisness for me, and then I shall begin to tell you of the last six months. Expect an update mid-week, if you care to return. And to those who waited, thanks. It's good to be back. Continue reading...
posted by Grey Owl at 1:23 p.m.
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