On Worship Singing

Warning: This is a rant. If you want something warm and fuzzy then I suggest you go lick a cat or something. Still here? Well at least read all the way to the end before you send me hate mail.

Modern worship (the singing kind) really bugs me. I can hardly explain how much it bugs me. If you've ever sat beside me in a worship service you'd notice that I don't sing. Maybe I read my Bible, maybe I just look around. But I won't sing.

It's not because I don't like music. I love music - everyone in my family plays at least one instrument, myself included, and I've got 2 close relatives who are professional musicians. And the quality of worship music these days could hardly be better - we've got 4-part harmony, brass quartets and jazzy choirs all over the place. No, the music is good.

There's basically two main reasons why I can't stand today's worship. There's more, but I'll keep it simple. I'll expand on each of them straight aways, then I'll tell you why I started feeling this way, and then (if you're really good) I'll tell you a secret. Ready? Here goes: The first reason is the lyrics, the second is the emotionalism. Now for the unpacking.

1. The lyrics piss me off. What kind of crap are we trying to pull? Steve Bell was absolutely right, there is such a lack of genuine theological accuracy in our songs. Some of them sound like they were written for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Some are wildly out of sync with scripture, or at least have extremely problematic wording.

Take Days of Elijah for instance. If there was ever a song that sent me into a quivering rage, this is it. It sounds like someone gathered up all the nice-sounding verses in the Bible and plunked them down all in one happy, confusing mess. It doesn't even make any sense. And if 20 christians in North America singing that song have experienced the stuff in it - "famine and darkness and sword" for instance - I will eat a pair of Dennis Rodman's gym shorts. Used ones. Maybe with some pasta sauce or some catsup. Or another instance that John Mortensen describes:

A minor rhyming disaster may be observed at the close of the song My Lord, What Sacrifice where the lyricist needed something to rhyme with “You took the fall” (never mind the bizarre metaphor of faking defeat in a boxing match) and chose "You thought of me above all”. Not only does the final line sound limp and contrived, but it commits a theological misstep: Christ thought of Me above all? Really? Above doing the Father’s will and defeating powers of evil and the immediate sensation of pain? Begging your pardon: the only person who thinks of Me above all is Me.

I'm sure we can all think of similar lyrical slip-ups made in the name of mushy love or rythmic constraints, but come on folks! If there's anything we should be trying extra special hard to keep from losing anything in the translation to song it's the Gospel!

2. The emotionalism really pisses me off. I don't even know where to start. Typically, the thing that irks me the most is that generally the whole show is about getting people to"experience God." We talk about what a great worship service it was, how we really felt God "move," or (in some cases) how we didn't feel anything and it must be the worship team's fault. We sing songs about how wonderful we feel, and if we don't feel wonderful we "sing it 'till we mean it." We've got our hands in the air and we're saying "yes lord" and "oh Jesus" at all the right times, as indicated by Worship Leader Barbie.

I know that people may be very genuine in their feelings, but the plain and simple fact is this: emotions are very easy to tamper with. I've taken training as a couselor and a psychologist, and I'm well aware of the ins and outs of tricking someone else's mind into doing what you want. It's very hard to sing along when you recognize that the worship leader is trying to pull on your strings to make you dance the way they want. It's really unnerving when you know what they're doing. I've learned that human emotions are fickle and not to be trusted, and that if you go into a situation expecting an experience of a particular kind you'll typically get it, one way or another.

Why do I feel this way? I'm glad you asked. I've had a very rough time of it when it comes to worship. I had a couple charismatic friends after I got saved in my mid teens, and I often went to services with them. They taught me how to worship, how to do all the right things that made God give you the good feelings. They taught me that if I didn't feel anything, then either I was doing it wrong or I had something wrong with me.

I can't tell you how many tearful recommitments I made to God night after night, trying desperately to make the same emotional connection I saw them making. I even faked it for a while, and they rejoiced with me. I did this for three years. Then I started to notice; their mystical connection with God certainly didn't seem to do them much good. They still complained about the worship band, they still spread rumors about others in the group, they still treated those different from them like dirt. There was hypocrisy and all manner of unsavoury things going on.

So I was forced to conclude that the experiences themselves were either a) fake or b) not powerful enough to effect any change in their lives. The second option seemed silly - how could encountering God in such a powerful way as they seemed to on a regular basis not have any effect? That left one option - they were fake - and this filled me with both relief and disappointment.

I've maybe had 2 genuine worship experiences since then. It's been about 5 years, and I've had no indication that I was wrong in my conclusions. I'm not going to judge anyone who chooses to worship God through singing - I'm sure that many are perfectly sincere, and if it makes them more like Christ then hey, why not? I also had some good friends in Jon With no H, Tyler the Charismatic Calvinist and Boon the Trucker, both of whom were immeasurable help in keeping me "in the fold," so to speak, despite the bitterness that threatened to overwhelm me. I'll admit, it's a wound that never fully closed.

But hey, worship really isn't about feelings or singing, is it? After all, Jesus says several times, "I desire mercy not sacrifice," and God himself indicates throughout the Bible that true worship is an attitude, a lifestyle, reflected in our actions towards others. True worship is a life dedicated to God, lived out in Spirit and in Truth, actively choosing to love God with all our hearts, mind and strength and loving our neighbors as ourselves. An I think that beats singing all hollow.

So. Do you want to hear the secret? Well I'll tell you. There's a stoplight that I usually have to stop at on my way home from work. The stoplight is right by a big church. I think it's an evangelical church of some kind, I've never actually checked. This church has a big, well-lit sign outside, usually with a catchy/corny phrase that makes me chuckle or roll my eyes. But that's not the secret.

Once a week when I'm driving home at night I drive past this church, and its parking lot is full. There's a sign out front that says "Wednesday Night Praise and Worship Service." I've never been inside, I have no idea who they are. I look in the windows as I sit at the red light and I see a congregation raising their hands to the roof. It feels a little voyeuristic. But that's not the secret.

The secret is that, sometimes, I want to pull the car over, get out, and go inside. I'll stand in the middle of them, I'll raise my hands and close my eyes and sing, sing as loud as I can and with all of my heart. I'll sing and laugh and cry until all the pent up feelings inside me are spent.

Then the light changes, and I shake myself out of it, and I remind myself that I'm better than that, that I don't give in to silly emotionalism, that I'm not as weak or foolish as they probably are. I press the accelerator and keep driving, but slower this time. I can hardly see the road through my tears.

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The Fashion of the Christ

"Me and Jesus, got our own thing goin'. Me and Jesus, got it all worked out. Me and Jesus, got our own thing goin'. We don't need anybody to tell us what it's all about." - Tom T. Hall

Who is this Jesus guy anyway? I have to tell you, I'm getting some mixed messages. Especially here on the Net - there's about as many different "Christs" as there are blogs. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for free speech, but it seems like every Christian blog I run into these days introduces me to a Jesus that I've never met before.

Some are pretty harmless, and I tend to pass these over. Others seem to be hateful, even cruel, pushing agendas that I don't remember Him ever pushing in the Bible. Some even are distilled down to a "Mr. Rogers" archetype, complete with puppydogs and lambs and a kind word for everyone. Frankly, I'm not sure which is worse. Can a Saviour sue for lible?

A popular t-shirt these days reads, "Jesus is my homeboy." And that's just one example of what happens to Jesus. Jesus has become hip, trendy, a sort of personal mascot. Want to justify X? Talk about how Jesus was the ultimate X. Insert in place of X - hippie, revolutionary, liberal, rebel, conservative, rastafarian, heretic, etc. Just tweak the image and there you go - pre-packaged Christ, ready made to support whatever fool thought flitting through your head. I believe that many Christians are doing a terrible wrong to Jesus . I'll explain why in a moment, but first I'd just like to introduce y'all (all y'all?) to a few of the Jesus' I've met. Here you go:

1. Angry Christ - This is the Jesus you'll encounter most often - at least, the one I encountered most often. He hates - well, a lot of things. Sinners seem to be a popular choice, as do heretics, democrats/liberals, homosexuals, backsliding Christians, abortionists, circus clowns and people named "Doug." People who want this particular Jesus on their side tend to quote a great deal of "fire and brimstone" verses from the bible, as well as verses where Jesus spoke harshly to people (calling them "snakes" and other such things) - usually to justify their ignoring of other verses that call Christians to treat others gently and with kindness.

2. Patriotic Christ - This guy is much more popular in the States than up here, but you still run into him a lot. Try Googling an image search for "Jesus" and "American Flag" and you'll see what I mean. This Jesus is typically a Republican, loves white people best (although it depends who you talk to) and just wants to bless your socks off - financially of course. He's become even more popular since 9/11, which is hardly surprising. You'll find a few different versions of him, but almost all of them have blue eyes. Which personally really creeps me out.

3. Buddy Christ - Best example of this was parodied in Kevin Smith's excellent movie "Dogma." This Jesus is laid back, relaxed, just chillin'. You wanna sin? You go right ahead, Jesus got your back. Feel like sleeping in on Sundays? Jesus'll unplug your alarm clock. Need some blunt? Jesus won't just give you a light, he'll pack the bowl himself. He'll never get you down, he'll never call you on the carpet - he's even pretty sure he can get you off the hook for what you did at Marti Gras, but he'll have to ask his dad. Oh, and he's great at parties because he'll never let you run out of booze.

4. "Mushy Love" Christ (thanks Kerri) - Personally, I find this one the most irritating. This Christ is ALL ABOUT YOU. He is just itching for you to throw your hands back, close your eyes and sing him a pretty song. He never condemns. He never gets upset, except at mean and nasty people and don't worry; you're not one of those. You're the reason he's waiting at your worship service, because he just can't get enough of you - unless you're an emerging Christian, in which case he's at Tim Hortons. This Jesus' favorite song is "All you Need is Love", and he can't wait for you to die so he can give you a great, big hug.

So why so many Christs? Why the franchising of the Saviour? I'll tell you, but you sure won't like it. In a word: shame.

We're ashamed of him. We can't stand him. He makes us uncomfortable. The Jesus that I see in the Bible reaches out from the and pokes us in the eye. He says things like, "Love sinners," and "Do not judge." He holds the religious to impossible standard. He claims to be the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He praises people we don't think deserve it. He compares God to a corrupt judge and a cruel master. He compares God to a loving Father. He came not as a king or ruler but as a stinky, smelly baby. He left not as a conquering hero but beaten, battered and rejected. He wants us to treat everyone equally. He confuses us and confounds us, and still he demands from us everything and more. Sure, he was revolutionary, sure he was angry, sure he was loving, sure he was human and friendly and harsh and a rebel and all of these things and more. He does not fit into any box we've got prepared for him.

So we change him. We dress him up, make him acceptable for company. We try and change the message of the Gospel into one of laws and rules because this new standard he call us to - sacrificial love - is way too damn confusing. We send him to one extreme or the other, always trying to avoid the impossible, unacceptable truth - that he is God made human and defies all explanation but his own: "Before Abraham was, I Am." And we do this out of shame.

Surprisingly, this isn't a new thing we've done with Jesus. Humanity has been doing it for thousands of years. A close friend of mine wrote an expository article on the "Golden Calf" story in Exodus. The interesting thing is, the Israelites weren't trying to invent a new god to worship - after all, they had just witnessed a whole pile of miracles by God - they were trying to put an understandable "face" on him. They picked the biggest, strongest creature they knew and made that image to try and have a representation of God among them. That's why God was so angry. They weren't worshipping a false god, they were trying to confine and subjugate the one they knew...

This is the same kind of idolatry as what we're doing to Jesus today. And he saw it coming too, "'If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels.'" (Mark 8:38). As much as we try to explain him away, I doubt that Jesus will lose out to the frauds in his place. And it's hard to criticise them because in a way they're all right. Maybe there's more we can do to introduce the genuine Christ - the Christ of the Bible - to the world. That's my question for this week: how can we avoid the pitfalls of creating an idol instead of the true Christ while still making our presentation of the Gospel relevant to this day and age?

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On Canada - US Relations

We have the longest undefended border in the history of the world.

We have a system of free trade that has been envied worldwide.

We freely come and go between our countries, visiting relatives and historical sites.

We even train parts of our military together.

So why can't we stand each other?

Canada-US relations are at an all-time low. The free trade agreement shows signs of dissolving. Protests on Canadian soil against American foreign policy are, if not common, at least unsurprising. Canada's refusal to support both the war in Iraq and the missile defense program has America wondering, "Where did our biggest supporter go?" Canadians harass and ridicule the American's leader. Americans don't know who Canada's leader is. And news programs on both sides of the border speculate that the friendship that has bound us together may be coming to an end.

In the midst of all of this, Christendom in North America is shifting. The more liberal attitudes in the north are becoming apparent, while in the south there are reactions against what many see as "backsliding." The Emerging Church is becoming more and more popular, yet receiving more and more criticism from conservative theologians - most of them seem to be American (or at least the loudest of them are). And here on the Net there are ripples of those changes. Emergent and anti-emergent sites have sprung up, and in my experience the supporters of Emergent have been disproportionately Canadian. That combined with our country's choice to support gay marriage has made some compare Canada to Sweden - we are an "irreligious" country in many eyes. This increases the tensions between us, as the conservative Christian elements in the United States have a very visible presence in the driver's seat.

It seems to me that the problem between us is the same problem you would find in any marriage - a failure to communicate our differences. Here's an example: My wife and I are very different people. I'm a cautious, rational fellow (my comments on Jamie's site not withstanding). She is a quick-thinking, fast-acting woman. Neither of those is better than the other (just to make that very clear in case she wanders by here...). But it caused us no end of grief until we actually sat down and said, "Obviously you don't see the world the way I do. Tell me the way you see things, so I can understand why you act the way you do."

The same thing is necessary for Canada and America. We think differently from each other. We see the world differently. And so we act accordingly - and this confuses the other party. Canadians tend to be more post-modern, with more emphasis on humanitarian interests and less care for power. Americans tend to be more modern, with an emphasis on justice and freedom in the world and less interest in change. I don't think either country has the "right" worldview - there are many things we can learn from each other. But we need to begin by understanding the perspective that the other is coming from. And that, my friends, can begin here.

Well, not HERE. But on the Net. A truly borderless community. We have an opportunity here (which many are taking advantage of) to try and air these differences, undertstand one another, so that in the midst of our diversity we can have unity. And the Emerging Church, with its emphasis on networking different communities of faith, will likely be a big help with that. No matter what our leaders wind up doing, it is my desire that Christians from both our nations can come together in faith and friendship to try and mend the hurts that have been done.

We won't ever be the same. And we will disagree on many, many things. But as long as we're here for each other to offer help like this, we will always be family.

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What a Dude we Have in Jesus

Here it is, the long-prophesied "serious" post of the week. Let's start a few weeks ago: I was on vacation and decided to rent that Mandy Moore movie "Saved." For those of you who don't know, the movie is about a young girl at an evangelical high school in the US somewhere. This teen gets pregnant during her summer break and spends the school year trying to hide her condition from her militant classmates while clinging to a faith that suddenly makes less sense to her, with predictably hilarious results.

Her school is a "stereotypical" white, American evangelical school. While there are certain aspects that are grossly exaggerated (like when classmates attempt to perform an exorcism on a "depressed" fellow student) one scene sticks out in my mind for its brutal honesty (or at least because it reminds me of some folks I knew as a teen). At the opening chapel for the year the campus pastor/principal of the school comes back-flipping onto stage (to loud funky music), comes up to the microphone and says (I kid you not...)

"Yeah! God is in the house! Let's get our Christ on, let's kick it Jesus style!" To which the congregation goes appropriately wild.

Well. What do you say to that? I sat there feeling quite uncomfortable, because I recognized truth in this (exaggerated) portrayal of our Christian leadership. We are desperately trying to be cool. Our strategy is to attract people in with our hipness, our coolness, our attractiveness - you'll never see an unattractive worship leader on Christian TV. Our leaders, by and large, spend vast amounts of time and energy trying to make us into a "religious" version of the best parts of our society. Here's a quote from "Blue Like Jazz" author Don Miller:

There are many problems with trying to market the gospel of Jesus, not the least of which is that, in itself, it is not a cool or fashionable idea. It isn't supposed to be. It is supposed to be revolutionary. It's for people who are tired of trying to be cool, tired of trying to get the world to redeem them. I attended the Dove Awards recently and was brokenhearted. I saw all these beautiful Christians, wonderful people, with this wonderful, revolutionary message of Jesus, who, instead of saying, "Look, fashion doesn't matter, hip doesn't matter," were saying "World, please accept us, we can be just as hip as you, just as fashionable, only in a religious way."

This is a legitimate concern many people have for the emerging church. Is it something revolutionary, ready to reach out to a broken world and affect change? Or is it just another attempt to live off the "fad of the land?"

I think I'm ready to conclude "both." It seems to me that in the emerging church there are true Christians, ready to try anything to get the timeless, hope-filled message of Christ into a hurting world. I've met several of these people, and I know them to be genuine believers.

I also think that there are many - too many - people jumping onto the emerging bandwagon because it's the next big thing, "where God is really moving" or some other garbage. Because the fact is, God doesn't need the emerging church. If God "needs" anything, it's good and faithful servants. These can be found in the emerging church, in the modern church, in the catholic church, anywhere that there is faith.

This isn't meant to discourage people from "signing up" with the emerging church or whatever. I want people to think - to really think - about where God wants them, and about what God wants them to do, instead of just picking the popular choice. And to pray about it, and to listen for God's leading. If he wants you to be an "emerging Christian," then be the best one possible. If he wants you to stay in your seeker-sensitive mega-church, then do so, and serve him with all your heart there. Instead of trying to be cool, hip, "with it" or what the world would find good in its eyes, let's be relevant, loving, and follow the Micah 6:8 example: "He has shown you, O man, what is good - and what does the LORD require of you? But to Do Justice, and to Love Mercy, and to Walk Humbly with your God."

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Become an Honourary Canadian

That's right, folks. Due to the crazy long weekend I've had, a deep and/or meaningful post is going to wait until later in the week. But don't worry; I've got something even better for you, something that will fulfill the hopes and dreams of our American friends, something that will change them forever. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

10 Steps to Becoming an Honourary Canadian
(These steps can be carried out in any order. Please try to have a registered Canadian present at all times. Possible side effects may include: nausea, shakiness, sore throat, the heebies, the jeebies, drunkenness, a strange desire to end every sentance [written or spoken] with "eh?", pregnancy, blunt force trauma, drowning[see # 8], postmodernism, forgetfulness, diaper rash, dandruff, pink eye, beaver rash, blindness, plaid, spontaneous combustion, hair where there was no hair before, less hair where there used to be hair, forgetfulness, angst, an invasion of angry vikings, shock, horror, an inexplicable attraction to The Tragically Hip, athlete's foot, vampirism and post-nasal drip.)

1. Learn Canadian spelling, the metric system, and to pronounce it "aboot".
2. Learn to calculate the prices you see on cable commercials into Canadian dollers.
3. Swat a mosquito in your car on the highway with a full Tim Horton's travelmug.
4. Say "touque" instead of "stocking cap."
5. Find a place to go during the summer that you can refer to as "the lake." It doesn't matter if it's a cabin, a campsite or even Kenora, you just have to go there and never refer to it by its real name. It is "the lake," and it always will be.
6. Be able to describe the differences between the CFL and the NFL.
7. Jump in a snowbank stark naked in minus 30 (celcius) weather.
8. Have sex in a canoe.
9. Refuse to acknowledge the existance of American "beer."
10. Become teary-eyed during Molsen Canadian commercials.

Following of these short steps ensures, if nothing else, the lasting amusement of the Canadians that you are trying to impress.

To my fellow Canadians: think I've missed anything? Keep adding to that list, maybe we can hit 50 by the end of the week!

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